Youth and Sports Essay Example for Free

Youth and Sports Essay Raising children in today’s society is not for the faint of heart. Raising children has never been easy, but it is especially difficult in youth sports today. Coaches and parents are putting a lot of pressure on our young sons and daughters. The pressure to succeed in sports at such a young age is taking the fun out of the sport by making it all about winning. A Personal Perspective My own interaction in youth sports has been many: As a parent, participant and an observer. My experiences as a child in youth sports were mostly positive. In my early days of sports in school, all children were encouraged to play for their school, skill level did not matter. There were no tryouts and no one got cut. We all were equal no matter what our overall ability. Sports were an enjoyable competition between schools and were simply for fun. I remember playing on my elementary schools basketball team. My coach was the school science teacher and my teammates were my friends and classmates. Our practices would be right after school and we would only practice for one hour. I remember the practices as an extended gym class. We would just run around, laugh, have fun and learn a few plays. I do not ever recall a coach yelling at me when I made a mistake or made a bad play. I remember the coach saying, â€Å"that’s ok, shake it off, you’ll get it next time. † I never worried about being pulled from a game if I made a mistake. We all played our fair share. We played the game as a game, with an opportunity to learn skills, compete, increase confidence, and have fun, we were able to go with the flow, relax and play for the sake of playing. Even our parents back then would just sit and enjoy the game. They didn’t yell at us to run faster or play harder. They didn’t even yell at the referee for making a bad call. I remember my parents telling me before every game, â€Å"Have fun and do the best you can† and after the game no matter how I played they would say, â€Å"You played a great game†. They always asked me if I had a fun time playing. I always did. I didn’t remember the losses. I remember playing with my friends and laughing about how bad we played some days. It seems like in youth sports today, the emphasis is no longer on developing skills through competition, with others and with yourself, but on the win-loss record, points scored, etc. Youth sports are run by adults. Adults tend to focus on the wins. When an adult arrives at end of the game, as the kids come off the field or court, what are the first words out of their mouth? Its usually Who won? or Did you score any points, get any hits, etc.? The children, meanwhile, are talking about whose mom brings the biggest candy bars for snacks! If, we as adults, teach our kids to focus on the winning, scoring, and scholarships, rather than skill improvement and having fun than mistakes or losses are not seen as opportunities to learn, but as occasions of failure and are to be avoided at all cost. If children think only in terms of winning, the pressure is on. Over the years I have seen how the youth programs are turning. Burned-out teenage athletes, coach-parent conflicts and abusive parents are indicators of a deep and continuing problem in youth sports. Youth sports programs have become the focal point of many families. The increased interest in sports over the past two decades have promoted the increased promotion of these programs, as well as developed interest on the part of parents to encourage participation by their children. It is disturbing to look behind the facade and to realize that children participating in organized sports are often pressured; they feel the pressure to fit in; they worry that they will only fit in if they are athletically talented; they feel the pressure that they need to win, to please their parents and coaches. Children develop their sense of fair play and their perceptions of ethical behavior in part within the context of these programs. These programs can also make a significant impact on the development of a childs self- perception, self-esteem and emotional health. If the messages displayed by adults in reference to the sporting events have a decidedly negative tone, the impact of youth sports programs on the emotional development of children will not have positive outcomes. There are a number of factors that can impact the influences of organized youth sports programs on the participants, and studies have shown that the results of the full picture of youth sports is not always a positive one. Some of the influencing factors include: the participation of parents in youth sports programs, the suggestion by coaches, parents and observers that winning is more important than the game itself, and the nature of sports, that lends itself to competitive and aggressive behavior. It is difficult to develop a concrete perspective about the impacts of youth sports programs without considering these influences. A Child’s Perspective Many children simply want to participate in sports programs to have fun, have a recreational activity and work together with friends towards a common goal (Kohl and Nelson, 1990). It has been recognized that competition can foster mistrust between children, when winning serves to dismiss losers, creates envy of the winners and leads children away from the focus of the game (Kohn and Nelson, 1990). It is also clear that the pressure that parents place on their children to compete and win creates its own set of inherent psychological dilemmas. Pressure to play on an elite team is an issue that should really boil down to what your child wants. A parent needs to read the signs indicating that a child wants to be on an elite team. If a child needs prodding to get ready and go to practice, the child who consistently does not want to go may not be suited for an elite team. Sometimes, the kids who complain about doing things outside their comfort zone just need a little push to discover they enjoy whatever it is they are so adamantly opposed to doing. But, after a season of being on an elite team, it should be apparent whether or not the child wants to continue with the sport at a higher level. I always make it clear to my son that he can play whatever sport he wants and at whatever level he wants. In his fifth year of hockey, he decided that he didn’t want to continue to play travel hockey despite his obvious skill level and the prodding of several teams trying to convince him that he â€Å"needed† to continue or he would fall behind. We laughed about the coaches who had told him this. I asked, â€Å"fall behind in what? † I had never been a parent who thought my son was going to be a professional hockey player. My goal was to involve him in sports that he enjoys and that would allow him to grow and experience the life lessons that sports can teach. At that point he loved hockey, but just didn’t want to have it take up so much of his social time. The following year the travel hockey flame was rekindled and he was more enthusiastic than he had ever been about playing. He still loves the game, and despite the fact I really believed he may be able to play at a collegiate level if he really wants to put in the work, he plays for fun and most likely will play for the rest of his life. The bottom line is, a family should not be pressured into anything, especially when it comes to their children. Ultimately, our children should have the biggest say in what they want to be involved in and at what level. Children who have been pressured by their parents in youth sports activities often display increased amounts of anxiety along with an increased level of awareness about the importance of the game (Weider, 1993). In other words, one child may be able to perceive the game as simply a game, but another child, under increased pressure from his parents, may only be able to relate to the game in terms of the amount of pressure created. This difference in perceptions puts children against each other; the children most likely to succeed and win the game are those who are least prepared to deal with any other option. It creates a scary reality for those children who perceive that they are unbeatable, but also are beaten by another team. When childrens self perceptions are directly related to their ability to win, there is clearly evidence that their inabilities then feed their lowered self-perceptions (Kantrowitz, 1996). A Coach’s Perspective and Its Unintended Effects Coaches are also putting negative pressure on our young athletes and not even realizing it through their approach and attitude towards kids. A coach’s words may carry a different message to the child hearing them than to the coach who is saying them. It is easy for a coach to phrase things in ways that are a lot harsher then they intend. Here are a couple of phrases that tend to have a negative impact on a child: â€Å"what’s wrong with you today? † â€Å"Why can’t you play like your brother? † â€Å"How long have you been playing this sport? † â€Å"Did your dad teach you that? and the list goes on and on. Here is an example of how a coach making a comment to a young athlete has a negative impact. My nephew was in his first year of football. He was nine years old and small for his age. They only had a few games left. But at practice one night the coach grabbed my nephews face mask and said â€Å"is that the best you can do? † What had happened was he had missed a tackle. My nephew interpreted that saying as, â€Å"you’re too small, bigger kids would have made that tackle. † What the coach should have said was, â€Å"you need to move quicker to have an impact during the play. A Parent’s Perspective and Its Unintended Results How does a parent know when theyre over-doing it from the sidelines? One thing that has helped a lot of parents and coaches supporting athletes is an understanding of their roles. In fact theres a push by several national organizations to know your role. Youre an athlete, coach, official, or a fan pick one then support and respect the others. (Koehler, Your Kids Sports). There are some theorists who even believe that these youth sports programs that focus on winning or losing are dangerous (Leo, 1993). Children of parents who push them in sporting events often feel they cannot ever lose because of their parents’ expectations. This process of parental control and the childs self-perception can lead to humiliation and despair (Leo, 1993).? Here is an example of parental pressure on a young athlete to win. At one of my son’s youth hockey games I observed a father berating his son after a game. The boy had had a breakaway shot with only a few seconds left in a hockey game. The young athlete skated up to the net and fired a rocket of a shot. It was a really hard shot, and it barely missed the net. Needless to say the game was over and it ended in a tie. The father ran down to the ice and waited for his son to skate off to the locker room. As the boy came off the ice the father pulled him aside and started yelling at him in front of the other players and parents. The father continued to tell the boy how lousy of a player he was and that anyone else on the team would have made the shot. This went on for about three minutes, until the boy trying to hold back his tears slumbered into the locker room. This is a perfect example of the parent putting the pressure on his son to be better than he is capable of being and winning is everything. A Society’s Perspective Most of the current literature on children and sports develops around the theory that children are negatively impacted by the competitive nature of sports programs in conjunction with the influence of observers, coaches and parents. Little League, in particular, has been the focus of a number of studies into the impact of the program on the social and emotional development of the children involved. Though Little League has been touted as a sport focused on fun for children, the competition pushed on children by the parent’s expectations turns potentially healthy fun into competitive battles pitting friend against friend (Verdi, 1990). Though the basic premise of youth sports is to encourage the enjoyment of sports activities, the focus on winning has reshaped the program (Rosen, 1996). Team sports can also be a great experience. Kids get to improve their skills and feel that team spirit as they work together toward a common goal. If youve had a bad experience with a team, maybe its time to try a new sport or a new league. Some leagues and programs emphasize skill building over competition. Many of the programs developed encourage healthy levels of competitive and cooperative behavior, help children develop a sense of fair play, and help children find self-esteem by rewarding physical activities. Programs like Little League have been recognized as a stepping-stone in the development of major baseball players, as well as presidents and successful business people. The competitive nature of sports does not necessarily mean that children will develop unhealthy asocial competitive behaviors. Over the past 30 years, a basic outline of the rules of sports competition, even as they refer to youth sports programs, has been widely accepted by coaches, parents and sports supporters in general. These rules include basic precepts like: team matters more than the individual; achievement comes from preparation, not fun; control calm under pressure, and perseverance are the necessary to win the game; criticism is more valuable than praise (Rosen, 1996). With guidelines like these as the basics for youth sports, it is no wonder that parents and players have learned that the game is more significant than the process or lessons learned while playing. ? Many people believe that one of the most valuable lessons developed from youth sports is the development of a conceptualization of fair play, in a way that young children can perceive and apply. Though the basic definition of fair play suggests justice applied to interpersonal actions, it takes on a slightly different and more specific outline when considered in terms of youth sports programs (Covrig, 1996). Fair play has been described as a very lofty set of virtues, including things like: truthfulness, self-respect, consideration for others, self-control, courage, courtesy, as well as fairness (Covrig, 1996). With these virtues as the basis, one would be led to believe that any child participating in a youth program that claims a focus on fair play could do nothing but benefit from these programs. But one of the major discrepancies in youth sports exists in the difference between the message and the messenger. Though fair play is a major focus of the premise for youth sports, the individual who create, develop and coach these programs do not often embrace these virtues in practice (Covrig, 1996).? In the same respect, parents who hope to develop a sense of fair play in their children by encouraging their participation in sports frequently display behaviors that do not reflect the same virtues. The major problem with this situation is that parents often impose the expectations relative to adult competitive sports on their children, who have not yet learned to embrace the American idealization of winning (Martin, 1986). This transference of parental expectations onto their children can result in a number of damaging psychological problems, including: burnout, injury, and feelings of rejections, causing lowered self- esteem, when children cannot meet the expectations of their parents (Martin, 1986). With over a million children participating in a wide variety of programs, the success of youth athletics cannot be attributed only to the enthusiasm of parents. Children, too, must perceive benefits of the programs in order for retention levels to be as high as they are (Rumpf 1992). Children, who can compete fairly, congratulate the winners with sincerity and accept victory with grace benefit from the structure and the healthy competition created within these programs (Rumpf, 1992). The most significant problems occur not because of the structure of the games, the programs developed or the basic ideals behind youth sports programs. Instead, it is clear that the disastrous effects of youth sports programs come as a result of the interaction between children, parents and coaches (Rumpf, 1992). The literature studies supports the thesis that youth sports programs can negatively impact the development of children in respect to self-esteem, self-perceptions and emotional health, though it is also clear that the impact has a direct relationship to adult interactions. Though the programs developed often support fair play and healthy competitiveness, the expectations of parents, coaches and spectators often transform seemingly friendly games into competitive battles with little respect for teammates and other players. Children who can succeed within these programs do so with the help of coaches and parents who do not impose difficult, if not impossible expectations on their childrens participation. Examining Our Perspectives Yet at what price does success come? Out of 19,000 young athletes, about 356 children will get a scholarship. Out of all those kids, only four will go pro. † (Koehler, Your Kids Sports). We just love it. Its our social life. We just love sports. And whats not to love, after all, more youth leagues are catering to the elite athlete, where winning and rankings are top priority and championships and scholarships are all the talk. I understand wanting your child to do well. College is expensive and it might seem like a full tuition sports scholarship is the way to go. However, there is a psychological price that the young athlete may pay. In order to realize the most benefits from these programs, parents must recognize the impact of their personal expectations on their childrens emotional stability. There is way too much pressure today on children. I think most parents who involve their children in several activities have forgotten how great it was to sit outside during a summer day and read a book or just daydream. Someday when these children are adults, they are not going to know how to use their imaginations, occupy themselves in a constructive manner, or just how to have fun. Are we teaching our children at a young age how to have a nervous breakdown? What happened to just playing a sport for fun? I remember when I was a kid, after school or during the summer. I would just walk out the back door, grab a baseball bat or a hockey stick and I headed out to the street or to the neighborhood park to find my brothers or other kids from the neighborhood to play with. We played for hours with no uniforms, no refs, no parents on the sidelines. Sure, I wanted to win. We all did. But if we didn’t it wasn’t the end of the world. The pressure to succeed in sports today is taking the fun out of the sport by making it all about winning.